There is no one that has not experienced some level of loss in their lives and it seems that no matter the loss, the grieving process always feels the same. Of course, our levels of grief can feel vastly different; I would not dare compare changing jobs to the death of a loved one, but the steps to move forward, although the length of time might be different, seem to always be the same.
In this practice of yoga we are trying to change things though, right? I mean, that is the idea. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. DON’T DO NOTHING! When we delve into this practice we learn to take a step back and examine the process, not just the outcome. We learn to watch and be in the moment, rather than anticipating and falling into the overwhelming anxiety of the moments yet to come. This is where work the is, and this work is never easy, but its value is worth the time and energy.
This month I lost one of my beloved students. She had cancer, and I was there in the agonizing last days of her life, and was there to bare witness to this amazing soul making a final transition onto a different world. When she and I were apart, I felt grief, and pain, and I cried, and got angry- but when I was with her- this woman who I thought I had taught so much, it was she that brought me into the present moment. It was she that reminded me (no words necessary) how precious each passing second is. And, although I knew I would lose her, I was not afraid, because she was there with me in that moment and that was all that mattered. Her soul left this earth, and I felt ease. I feel happy to have known her, happy to have loved her, happy to have learned from her, and happy to have watched her transformation (not just from this life, but over the last couple of years- it was incredible). Right now, she is not here, and it is ok. She is at peace- and – well so am I. Do I miss her, yes! Do I feel her with me every time I step into my studio, absolutely. In this crazy experience I was truly present through the whole thing, and my outcome feels completely different than anything I have ever done.
This month I am moving my studio. In the past I would have been sad, and grieving the loss like I would a human being. Thankfully I have grown so far from an attachment to “stuff”, so my feelings on the subject are so different. Today I work at 469 Main St. and in two weeks I will work at 76 Westbury Park Road. Ok. I won’t see my neighbors daily. Ok. I will need to create a new routine. Ok. I will have to work my ass to get there. Ok. But right now, I am in my same old office, typing on my computer- and when I move, I will be at a shiny new desk (actually a beautifully refinished old farm table) doing the same thing- and this will be then, and that will be now- simple as that.
You can choose to get lost in loss. This is a choice. I am not saying that you should not grieve. That somehow we can skip the step of sorrow, and pain- we are human after all, and no matter what we all build deep attachments to the things we love. What I am saying is to examine your feelings, and when you are in those moments of deep despair- moments of pain- take a moment to bring yourself back into the present moment and breathe. That moment, in and of itself, can you bring you such peace. You may have to do it over and over again, and need constant reminding, but staying present, will make this processes different from any other time you have lost. DON’T DO NOTHING. If you are sad- do something. If you are angry- do something. You CAN be at peace. Just take one step and one breath at a time- and stay in the moment.